Monologues4Kids

Gerrie will write Custom Monologues to order!

An Original Custom Monologue will help you stand out from the crowd.

“Own the Moment”

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" . . . . .Dr. Barbie: Oh my.  What happened?   

Adora: It was Skippy.  

Dr.  Barbie: Skippy?  

Diva: Olivia’s new puppy.  (glares)  The doll destroyer.

Valencia: Dr. Barbie, can you fix me?  Skippy took my shoe and chewed on my foot.  Will I ever dance again?

Dr. Barbie: Of course you will. (puts on stethoscope and takes heartbeat)  Say Ahhhh.  

Valencia: Ahhhh.

Dr. Barbie: My Diagnosis: You need a new shoe.  (hands one to her from her doctor bag.  Valencia puts it on) Tada!

Valencia: Thank you Dr. Barbie.  I can dance again.  (twirls around) . . . . . . "

" . . . . Scarlett: “Oh Fraulein, Father’s never going to marry her. Why he couldn’t. Because he’s in love with you. (pace a few moments) He’s in LOVE with you.  (pace again and change inflection) He’s in love with YOU.   Hmmm.

Isabelle: Scarlett, can you please practice a little quieter? I’m trying to get ready for my audition too.

Scarlett: Which inflection is better?  He’s in LOVE with you or He’s in love with YOU.  

Isabelle: I don’t know.  Either one sounds fine.  

Scarlett: That’s no help.  This could be the difference between me being cast as Brigitta or not being cast as Brigitta. (turn to Olivia) What do you think Olivia? . . . ."

"At Rise: Ella, Deysi, Alwyn, Linnett and Bronwyn are standing in the background, scattered about, as trees.  Arms are in air like branches and everyone is frozen in place with no expression on their face.  Coventina enters.

Coventina: (in lyrical, dramatic fashion)  

“Come forth from the night, Come forth from the trees.       Calling all Sprites, Come forth.  Be Free.”

As Coventina finishes the calling the girls all start stretching and relaxing.

Bronwyn: (jumping happily) Oh.  It feels so good to stretch.  

Linnett: What took you so long? . . . . . "  

" . . . . . . Iago: This is the Talk show?   Squawk!  My agent is fired!

Jackie:   Don’t you just love to hate him?

Iago: What?  No one hates me.  I’m adorable.  Right?

Blakely: (wide eyes as she tries to think of something to say)  Um . . . sure. (nervous laugh)  In a mean bird kind of way. . . . . ."

" . . . . . . . Offstage voice: Places.  Why aren’t you in places?

Rosie: Because we will not compete against each other.  

Sunny: We will not be winners and losers.

Daisy: That’s right.  We are all winners.  

Offstage voice: But you can’t. . . . 

Rosie: Oh yes we can.  Haven’t you ever heard of Flower Power? 

Sunny: Places Flowers!

Daisy: You mean, places Winners!"

" . . . . . Kelli: If you’re going to go British you have to use British buzz words. Like pip pip and tally ho. Right Lacey?

Lacey: Right. (Pause) What am I agreeing with?

Kelli: Try again Sarah. Just pep it up a little.

Sarah: Okay. I can do that. (Clear throat and speak in British accent again) Greetings Ladies and Gentlemen.   Welcome to the pip pippiest show on earth. We have wonderful performers so Talley ho! (Kelli and Lacey chap loudly) That sounded weird.

Kelli: It was great. That was a lot better. Now I’ll do mine. (Very dramatically) Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the Greatest show on earth. . . . . ."

"At Rise: Dilys is sitting on her knees with her hands on the ground.  Katie is standing with her arms spread wide and Gianna is flat on the floor spread eagled.  They are frozen at in place at lights up. 

Dilys: (standing up, brushing arms, legs)  Are we back?  Are we human again?

Gianna: (standing and doing a little twirl) Arms, legs, (flip hair) adorable hair - yes, we’re back.

Dilys: (To Katie who is still frozen in place and hasn’t moved) Katie, you can relax.  We’re human again.  

Katie: (finally relaxing and dropping her arms)  Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.  Why does this keep happening?  

Dilys: I don’t know.  Was anyone bitten by a spider? . . . . "

" . . . . Jane: My turn. Oh, here’s an app called Aging Booth. (pushes buttons on ipad) I just enter your picture and whoa!  Phyllis, you are a scary looking old lady.  

Phyllis: Let me see.   Hmm.  I think I look sophisticated.

Jane: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!  

Phyllis: (grabs ipad)  Give me that.  I’ll find a fun app.  Here’s one.  It’s called “All aboard the Hogwarts Express”.  

Jane: (leaning over to look at it)  A Harry Potter app?  That does look fun.  Download it.  (Phyllis pushes buttons when suddenly the lights go out.  Sybil enters during the blackout.)

Sybil: All Aboard!  The Hogwarts Express is leaving in ten minutes.  

Jane: Who are you? (shouts) Mum, there’s a strange girl in my bedroom.

Sybil: I’m Sybil, the lights flashed because I apparated and your Mum knows I’m here.. . . . . "

"Betty: The new Jungle Book movie is out. (Everyone looks at her expectantly.) And we’re all in it! (Everyone jumps up and cheers)  

Winnie: And?

Betty: It’s awesome! (Everyone cheers some more)

Priscilla: I wasn’t worried.  I knew a panther would be in it.  After all, how can tell the story of Mowgli without the amazing spectacular Bagheera. (strike a big dramatic pose as you say) Panthers rule! And every other animal (other animals are glaring at her) is also awesome in their own way. (the other 3 animals have their arms crossed as they continue to glare) I wasn’t going to say drool. . . . . " 

" . . . . Alice: (curtsies) Goodbye your majesty.  You could write “I will learn to share” 100 times on a piece of paper.  At my primary school the Teachers made the bad students do that and it always seemed to help.  Perhaps it will help you too.  

Queen: (very, very angry) WHAT?

Alice: (to the White Rabbit) See?  She keeps saying that word.

White Rabbit: Maybe she has one of those Word of the Day calendars.  Now come on.  Remember?  We’re late, we’re late for a very important date.

Alice: You know you say that a lot too.

White Rabbit: (pushing Alice towards exit) I know.  I like those words.  Now let’s go! (They both exit)   

Queen: (seething with anger) How dare they!  Off with their heads!  (Point to various people in the audience) And off with your head.  (points to another audience member) And your head.  Off with everyone’s head!  It’s not fair!  I want presents! . . . . . "  

Gilda: Be polite but we must stop her from making this horrible mistake.

" . . . . Sia: Should I offer to fight Prince Bertram?  I am a Siamese fighting fish.  We are excellent fighters.  (do a karate pose)  Hi Yah!   

Gilda: No.  There will be no fighting.  Understand?

Sia: (big sigh)  Fine.  

Gilda: Miggle?  (Miggle is swaying back and humming) Miggle?

Miggle: (suddenly bursting into song) “Under the Sea, under the Sea.  Darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from me.”

Gilda/Sia: MIGGLE! . . . . . ."

"At Rise: Reindeer are standing or sitting on stage looking very, very bored.

Cupid: How many more days till Christmas?

Dasher: 361.  (Reindeer all groan)

Comet: I asked the elves if the reindeer could help make toys this morning.  (other three reindeer look at her hopefully)  

Vixen: What did they say?

Comet: They didn’t say anything.  They were too busy laughing at me.  

Dasher: I suppose we could play some reindeer games.

Vixen: No.  I absolutely refuse to play another silly reindeer game. . . . . . "

". . . . Little Red: Bo Peep, your sheep are going to do a kickline.

Bo Peep: A kickline?

Little Red: Like the Rockettes.  We’ll call them the Sheepettes!  

Bo Peep: I don’t know if my sheep can dance.

Little Red: Jill, you and Jack are going to be shot out of a cannon.  

Jill: (wide-eyed shock)  What? 

Little Red: I saw it on America’s Got Talent.  It was very eye catching.  

Jill: SHOT OUT OF A WHAT? . . . . . . "  

" . . . . .Jack: Your Dad hit you again didn’t he?  (imploringly)  You have to tell her Peyton.  You have to tell Mrs. Fowler or the police or someone.  You can’t keep lying about this.

Peyton: (stubbornly)  My Dad did not hit me.   I fell down the stairs.

Lucy: (confused but still believing Peyton)  You sure do fall a lot. . . . ."

"Mighty Miss: Well it’s official.  We’ve been taken off the Superhero list and put on the Inactive list. Blinky slithers over behind Mighty Miss.  Mighty Miss turns around and confronts Blinky holding out one of the papers.) Here’s your official notification.  

Blinkvisible: How did you know I was here?

Mighty Miss: I can see you. 

Blinkvisible: No you can’t see me.  I’m (striking a pose with both arms in a wide V) BLINKVISIBLE. Blink (blink eyes very dramatically) and I turn invisible.  

Veloce: (sitting up) Blinky, we can see you. You’ve lost your powers.  

Blinkvisible: No I haven’t.  I refuse to lose my powers. You’re just guessing where I am because you can hear my voice.  

Veloce: (standing up) Right. And I’m just imagining that I’m no longer Superfast.  (raise both fists up in air in front of chest) I was going to work with THE FLASH. . . " 

"Dr. Magic: Welcome to Dr. Magic’s Carpet Therapy.  The place where we take the crying out of your flying.  The place we take the gloom out of your zoom.  The place where we bring on the happy that makes your threads feel flappy. I’m Dr. Magic. . . . . . .. . . . (turns to Hero) And what’s your story?

Hero: The usual.  New owner meets a Princess named Jasmine and battles an evil villain who wants to take over the world.  Then the Owner saves the day with the help of a goofy genie.  Other carpets all nod as if they have all been there, done that.

Paz: So why are you in therapy?

Kashi: You have the perfect carpet life!

Hero: I’ll tell you why I’m in therapy.  My owner and the Princess are “in love”.  (Shudders) They look into each other’s eyes for HOURS!  (Carpets all gasp).  They sing to each other.  (All carpets say Nooooo!)  And then they . . . they . . . .  . . . "

" . . . . . . Kelly: Do you think she texted the alien brain sucking app to our phones?  Is this the start of the phone apocalypse?

Taylor: I don’t know.  We could just be imagining all this.

Kelly: That’s what people always say in the movies. (Very dramatically)  Before they die!

Taylor: It sounds like Michelle has already had her brain sucked away.  

Kelly: (panicing and grabbing Taylor’s shoulders) I don’t want my brain sucked away. I like my brain.  Taylor what should we do? . . . . . ."

" . .  . . . . Kate: Bugs are good for you Melly. They’re full of protein. (walk over to campfire and look closely at Melly) Is that a bug on your arm? You should grab it and eat it for supper.

Melly: (Stands and screams) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Robin: (Standing and comforting Melly) Kate was just joking Melly. There are no bugs on your arm.  

Dori: I refuse to eat a bug. I refuse to eat anything that’s alive. Bugs have families too you know. . . . . . . ."

" . . . . .Jackriel: (clears throat)  To begin, my Human has had a very good week.  His academics have been soaring. His athletic abilities have been ---

Samriel: Amazing.  Blah, blah, blah.  But the big news of the week is that your Human fell and broke his arm because you - his Guardian - were too busy rereading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone to watch over him.

Jackriel: (sputtering and defensive) But J.K. Rowling is writing a new book.  . . . It’s not my fault my stupid human IS ALWAYS FALLING AND BREAKING SOMETHING.  

Anariel: (shocked) Oooo, you called your human stupid.  

Jackriel: (quickly) I meant silly.  My SILLY human.

Joriel: Why yes, Samriel, that IS against the Guardian rules. Dude, they’re probably going to put you in Guardriel prison.  But you could start a Jail band.  (singing or talk sing like Elvis) “Everybody in the whole cell block, was dancing to the Jailhouse Rock.” . . . . . "

" . . . . . Goldilocks: Well I was walking past the Three Bears house and I was so tired.  I popped in to rest a moment but when I tried to sit down their chair broke into pieces.

Bo Peep: (jumping up) That was very dangerous. Did you buy that chair from the Big Bad Wolfe?  

Mama Bear: Yes.

Bo Peep: You should talk to the Three Little Pigs. I heard they are suing him for making dangerous chairs.

Goldilocks: It was very upsetting.

Mama Bear:  I object. We are not talking about dangerous chairs. 

Mother Goose: (phoning) “Little Miss Muffet? Did we buy any of the Big Bad Wolf’s chairs?  We did?  et rid of them right away.  They’re dangerous.” (To Goldilocks) What happened next? . . . ."

" . . . . . Lily: Are the walls closing in?  I cain’t breathe. (Starts hyperventilating a little as she drops to her knees and starts clutching her hands).

Pippa: Can’t you give her a shot or something to calm her down.  She’s going all crey crey.

Sam: (shouting) For the last time, I have a doctorate in LITERATURE.  I can’t give her a shot.

Pippa: Touchy.  Sounds like you’re regretting that choice now huh?  And I thought you Brits were all (British accent) stiff upper lip and let’s all have a cup of tea.  You’re embarrassing your country dude. . . . . "

" . . . . Mindy: I think Emma would be a great Princess and a wonderful role model for all the little girl eels in the ocean.

Gabriel: No one likes eels. They’re scary and they shock you.

Mindy: Gabriel! How can you say such things?

Gabriel: It’s in the Angelfish rules. (Angel pose) I can not tell a lie.  

Emma: Nobody likes me?

Mindy: Lots of people like you. (glares at Gabriel)  Gabriel say something.  

Gabriel: (clears throat) Behold the words of Gabriel the Angelfish. We like you. Other eels like you. And there’s a rumor that Ollie the Octopus has a crush on you but other than that? Nobody else likes you. Thus endeth the words of Gabriel, the Angelfish. . . . . ." 

"Scene opens with Sky, and Mary are slumped depressed into various chairs.  Mallory is texting. Taylor enters.

Taylor: Ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwwwwww!

Mary: Something wrong?

Taylor: (shuddering)  I’ve been feeding the homeless. They are so disgusting. They smell. Their teeth are gross. And did I mention they are DISGUSTING?

Sky: Is that why you missed the trip to Disney World? Everyone was wondering where you were.

Taylor: My Dad insisted that I come with him on his monthly Help the Helpless mission trip.  I’ve taken three showers and I still feel dirty. . . . . . "

"Janie: Wow. This place looks like a clothing bomb exploded in it.

Willow: What happened in here?  Was your sister packing to go some place?

Sophie: No. She had a date tonight.

Janie: Mia had a date? With a boy?

Sophie: Uh huh. With a boy named Jack.

Janie: Jack? Like my brother Jack?

Sophie: That would be the one.

Janie: MIA IS ON A DATE WITH MY BROTHER JACK? . . . . . "

" . . . . .Adam: (very excited)  Yes!  A wicked, evil dragon who kills everyone with his light saber!  

Lidia: Dragons don’t have light sabers Adam.

Adam: My Dragon does because he’s cool and watches Star Wars.

Jack: No Adam the Dragon doesn’t kill anyone.  

Sophie: Is he a nice dragon Jack?

Jack: Yes Sophie he is.  He’s just lonely because he’s the last Dragon in the world.

Sophie: Awww.  That is so sad.

Lidia: So let me get this straight.  The Wicked Trash Villain is a Dragon who is littering the forest with trash because . . . . .

Jack: Because he’s so lonely.  He doesn’t have another Dragon friend to say hey pick up your trash because we need to save the environment. . . . . .."

" . . . . Colorboy: Why can we move? I’ve never been able to move by myself before.  

Progal: Clearly there has been some sort of error. We must speak with management.  Is anyone wearing a cell phone?

Cowboy: Nope. But I have a hat. (takes hat off head and swings it around) I love my hat.

Jammiesgal: (finally standing up and patting down her outfit) No, I don’t seem to be wearing a cell phone. (pauses a moment and then says curiously) What is a cell phone?

Progal: It’s a little box that people talk into to.  I’ve seen them do it many times when they are standing near me. (hold up hand as if talking into a cell phone.  Change voice a little with each question) “Charlotte, what size uniform does Megan need?” “Emily, where are we meeting for lunch?” The box has all the answers in it.  

Colorboy: (Looking over clothes) I don’t see any boxes. (holds arms out with a big smile)  I like my clothes.  I’m very bright. . . . . "